Free Attachment Style Calculator
Based on the ECR-R — the gold-standard measure of adult attachment · 18 questions · 5 minutes · Instant results
About This Attachment Style Calculator
This free attachment style calculator is built on the Experiences in Close Relationships — Revised (ECR-R) questionnaire, developed by R. Chris Fraley, Niels G. Waller, and Kelly A. Brennan in 2000. It is one of the most cited and validated measures of adult romantic attachment in psychological research, used across thousands of published studies.
The ECR-R measures two core dimensions of adult attachment:
- Attachment Anxiety — the degree to which you worry about whether your partner truly loves you, fear abandonment, and need reassurance.
- Attachment Avoidance — the degree to which you feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness, prefer self-reliance, and pull back from intimacy.
Your combination of scores places you in one of four attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, or Fearful-Avoidant.
💚 Secure
Low anxiety, low avoidance. Comfortable with both intimacy and independence. The most relationship-satisfying style.
💛 Anxious / Preoccupied
High anxiety, low avoidance. Craves closeness but fears it will not last. Hypervigilant to signs of rejection.
💜 Avoidant / Dismissing
Low anxiety, high avoidance. Values independence. Feels smothered by closeness. Self-reliant to a fault.
❤️ Fearful-Avoidant
High anxiety, high avoidance. Wants closeness but fears it simultaneously. Often linked to early trauma.
How to Use This Calculator
- Think about your most recent or current romantic relationship as you answer each question.
- If you are not currently in a relationship, answer based on how you generally feel in close relationships.
- Rate each statement from 1 (Disagree Strongly) to 7 (Agree Strongly).
- Answer all 18 questions honestly — there are no right or wrong answers.
- Click Calculate My Attachment Style to see your results.
- Read your full result including strengths, challenges, and growth suggestions.
- If your results raise concerns, consider speaking with a qualified therapist.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is an attachment style?
An attachment style is a pattern of how you relate to others in close relationships - particularly romantic partners. It is shaped by your earliest experiences with caregivers and continues to influence how you think, feel, and behave in adult relationships.
Is my attachment style permanent?
No. Attachment styles exist on a spectrum and can change over time, especially through therapy, safe relationships, and increased self-awareness. Research shows that people can and do shift toward more secure attachment.
What is the most common attachment style?
Studies suggest that approximately 50-60% of adults have a secure attachment style. Around 20% are anxious, 25% avoidant, and a smaller percentage are fearful-avoidant - though figures vary across populations.
Can I have a different style in different relationships?
Yes. While most people have a dominant style, your attachment behaviour can vary depending on your partner's style and the specific relationship. A secure partner can bring out more secure behaviour in an anxious person, for example.
Is this calculator clinically validated?
This calculator is based on the Experiences in Close Relationships - Revised (ECR-R) questionnaire, one of the most widely used and validated measures of adult attachment. The tool is for self-awareness purposes only and is not a clinical diagnosis.
What does high anxiety mean in attachment terms?
High attachment anxiety means you tend to worry about whether your partner loves you, fear abandonment, and seek reassurance frequently. It reflects hyperactivation of the attachment system.
What does high avoidance mean in attachment terms?
High attachment avoidance means you feel uncomfortable with closeness and emotional dependency. It reflects deactivation of the attachment system as a way of managing the fear that closeness leads to pain.
How can I move toward secure attachment?
Therapy (especially attachment-based, EMDR, or somatic approaches), secure relationships, journaling, mindfulness, and developing self-compassion all support movement toward a more secure style. It is a gradual process.
Should I share my results with my partner?
Sharing results can open meaningful conversations about needs, fears, and patterns in your relationship. It can be a starting point - not a label to stick to someone permanently.
Can children have attachment styles too?
Yes. Attachment theory was originally developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth to describe infant-caregiver bonds. The four adult styles broadly correspond to infant patterns: secure, anxious-ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganised.